This moment. Right here. Right now. Is. Exactly. Where. I. Am.
While I do take time daily to check in, breathe, and be present with what is right in front of me, I think I have been doing a pretty good job at half assing it. This past week has been a true test from the be present gods and they caught me right handed of multi tasking 20 different things a day to the point of my body giving up and saying no more. Alright be present gods, you have me all ears and I am listening. I think I get it. I have been sending extra emails at night, half listening to my boyfriend talk about his fantasy football stats while I am looking at Pinterest, and ignoring my pup in the morning before leaving for the day to get 2 more things done.
Today I am asking myself, "Will I remember scrolling through the endless pins for 'the best Holiday gifts in a jar' or the look on my mans face in full on excitement of latest and greatest sport updates?" or "What about getting that extra load of laundry in before I am out the door or the full on wiggle effect and look on Ruby's face for a few extra pets?"
The tasks can wait. The scrolling can wait. The busy can wait. The communication, interaction, love, and relationships with those around me cannot. and it all starts with me being presence for myself to be for others.
This quote is the tipping point for me...
“Let's stop the glorification of busy. We don’t need to use our busy-ness as a measure of worthiness.”—Jennifer Pastiloff
Got me thinking..."Do I measure my greatness and meaning by how busy I am?" Maybe. Not intentionally, but sometimes yes. I want to get it all done in a day. I plan out what errands I can squeeze in before or after work, or on the way to or from teaching. The one more, the extra this, the extra that. The longer the list, the better I am doing. AND The more I get checked off the list, the longer it gets, and the even better I AM as a person. By the time I get home to the ones that love me most, I am drained and hangry. AND When Tyler and I are hangry, it gets ugly. We are short with one another make below the line comments and sit on opposite ends of the couch (with Ruby in between). When what we both want is to be loved, we are showing everything but love because we are to caught up in everything besides what is in front of us.
Today I am resetting. At home. On the couch. Cuddling with my pup. I was given direction by Tyler to not even leave the house and just relax. He said "not even yoga, don't even think about it". Well I couldn't stop thinking about it and Ruby needed food. So I ventured out in the now for a practice. Close to my house with a teacher I honor and look up to more than she knows. A reset. During savasana, tears running down my face. I finally paused. Felt at home in my body. When I got home, I opened up my copy of Journey to the Heart and saw a note from this time last year. This time last year was Day 5 of Level 2 Teacher Training with my teacher Baron Baptiste. On Day 2, I wrote in my meditation journal "I choose to think less".
Today I am recommitting to this choice. 1 year and 3 days later. This is a familiar place and I welcome it fully. Open arms. It feels good to know I am right back in a learning stage. Like a puppy, wobbly, waking up, eyes and ears wide open to receive.
Today I wobble. To think less, do less, try less, and give myself a break.
Going into the Holiday season and first day of a new month tomorrow. This next month is a practice of #bepresence before I practice #givepresence in December. This year the 2014 Holiday theme at lululemon we are #givepresence starting on Dec 1st. #givepresence was created with the intention to stay focused on what really matters most this time of year. With stress and overwhelming commitments finding the space to #givepresence amongst the presents.
In November, I am starting fresh. I am committing to being presence. By being present, I will fill my heart with all the things I have been taking for granted, passing by, overlooking. 30 days of #bepresence before 31 days of #givepresence. Before we can give, we have to be.
Join me. Hashtag it. Talk it. Create it. Share it. Be it. #bepresence
How? Introduce 1 thing a day that brings you to the present, grounds you, restores your vitality, and brings you into the now. If you wobble and forget a day, honor your awareness, and try it the next.
Turning off your phone, calling your mom to just say I love you, looking your friend in the eye or a stranger in passing, deep breaths in the middle of traffic, only having 3 things on your to do list for the day, laying in bed for 10 minutes when you wake up before looking at your phone, no TV for a night and rediscover conversation...
Starting today, I am actually taking in the leaves changing colors before I miss the seasons change all together.
If not now, then when?
Try it on today and start it tomorrow
Be bold. 30 days #bepresence